just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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