I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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