I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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