Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
