Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I will be naked everywhere
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
