I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
