I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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