Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
