In the future we'll all be gay
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
