I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
