Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
