I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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