Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
