You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
