I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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