We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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