fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Acid is not a monday night drug
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
