There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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