its not stalking. its research.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think your dad took our porno
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
