Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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