okay pat passed out under dana's car
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
