so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
