The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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