last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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