apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
