get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
