For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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