hell yes lets make some ravioli
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I AM VODKA MAN
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
