I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
