Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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