Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
