Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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