Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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