it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
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