How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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