There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
