If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
