She said her name was "party"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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