Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
