I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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