So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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