I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
