Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
