Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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