Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
