I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
