my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
