If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Nicole vs. Life
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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