you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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