my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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