i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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