he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize