I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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