His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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